Insightful Personhood

Something Significant at 50 (#15): Through the roof

2012-01-27T18:58:00.000+08:00

What lengths would you go to bring your friends to Jesus?

Will you bear their weight, scale the roof, and fight the gravity of being inconvenienced?

Will you make yourself low, make a fool of yourself and

do what you have to do, not caring if people will think you're strange?

Will you come up front, and in the middle?

Something Significant at 50 (#14): A good place to start

2012-01-20T10:50:00.000+08:00

Most of my groups began the year with an exercise of gratitude to the Lord.

We prayed Psalm 136, the psalm that has a refrain for every remembrance of the good the Lord has done. In my bible, it goes, "His lovingkindness is everlasting." From other versions, the words are:

His love endures forever.

His steadfast love endures forever.

His mercy endures forever.

His mercies are to eternity.

It just gives one a greater sense of the kind of enduring love and mercy God has for all of us!

We made it our own by replacing our personal reasons to thank the Lord --- for unexpected blessings, for answered prayers and even for prayers He did not grant. We looked back to the past year with gratitude realizing that He had our BEST in mind in all the events of our lives.

When one is filled with gladness, one can look to the future with hope and claim good for himself tomorrow knowing that God goes with him.

If you have not done your day of prayer to begin 2012, find the Psalm below. Make your inventory of blessings today. If it is difficult to start, look back to the months of the year and start with January. Write as many reasons as you can. Don't limit yourself to the blanks. By the time you get to June you might be overwhelmed already.

Psalm 136

1 Give thanks to theLORD, for he is good.

Hislove endures forever.

2 Give thanks to theGod of gods.

Hislove endures forever.

3 Give thanks to theLord of lords:

Hislove endures forever.

4 to him who alonedoes great wonders,

Hislove endures forever.

5 who by hisunderstanding made the heavens,

Hislove endures forever.

6 who spread out theearth upon the waters,

Hislove endures forever.  

7 who made the greatlights—

Hislove endures forever.

8 the sun to governthe day, 

Hislove endures forever.

9 the moon and starsto govern the night;

Hislove endures forever.

10___________________________________________________________

Hislove endures forever.  

11___________________________________________________________

Hislove endures forever.  

12___________________________________________________________

Hislove endures forever.

13___________________________________________________________

Hislove endures forever.  

14___________________________________________________________

Hislove endures forever.  

15___________________________________________________________

Hislove endures forever.

…

26 Give thanks to theGod of heaven.

Hislove endures forever.

After doing this, plan your year. Dare to do great things. Claim bigger blessings.

Be blessed!

Something Significant at 50 (#13): Forever

2012-01-05T14:45:00.000+08:00

Forever (adverb of time)

1. everlastingly; eternally; without interruption.

2. at all times; incessantly.

3. without ever ending; always.

What a beautiful word!

If there is so much beauty in things that wither and wilt, what astounding beauty awaits those who discover God's word?

In a world where everything is disposable, where every one is on the look out for something new, the promise of God's Word and its enduring permanence gives me so much comfort.

Dear Lord, Thank you for the gift of Your Word. It gives me joy to know that forever is nothing to you. Because you are the God of my yesterday, today and tomorrow, I know your promises will stand the test of time. Amen.

Something Significant at 50 (#12): Keeping promises

2012-01-01T09:00:00.001+08:00

I promised myself that I would post 50 things in observance of my golden year. Today, there are only 12 days before my next birthday and I admit that I only have 11. This is the 12th. I didn't even do one for every month.

We make many promises and break them all the time.

Often, we do not intend to, but we overestimate ourselves. We think we are capable of doing great things.

This is especially true with diets.

When we take a look at the mirror and don't like what we see or when nothing in our wardrobe fits anymore, we swear that we will change our ways --- skip the carbs, excercise, avoid chocolate, etc... only to violate our own promises the moment tempting desserts are paraded in front of us.

The problem with making promises and breaking them is that we easily give up on ourselves. When we lose, we are content at becoming losers. We rarely pick ourselves up and try again. If it was a new year's resolution, we wait for the next year to make a new one.

What's wrong with trying again right after we fail?

Today, January 1, we have the opportunity to make a list of promises of things to stop doing, start doing and keep doing. I say, make the list, check it twice and make sure it is doable. Maybe add a few ambitious ones --- ones that are good for your health, like losing a few pounds or excercising a few minutes a day.

After you're done with your list, add this one:

"I promise that if I fail today, I will not wait for the New Year to try again. I will not wait for Monday of the next week either. I will pick myself up and try again today!"

Lord, help me keep the promises that I make to myself. Amen.

Something Significant at 50 (#11): Making house calls

2011-12-14T08:38:00.001+08:00

A lot of people have been getting sick lately. It'sexpected for this time of the year --- one moment, the sun is shining then all of a sudden the rain pours. What's predictable is that the weather is unpredictable.

Another thing about this time of the year is that traffic is bad. No, traffic is ugly. It's not the best time to visit the sickspecially if you are a mother trying to fit in your personal use of the car intothe available slots left from the monopoly of the rest of the family.

Last Monday, my mom sounded terrible on the phone. I could hardly understand what she said but I was able to discern "wala akong ganang kumain (I have no appetite)."

When I was small, the best memories I had of my mother had todo with her caring for me when I was sick and making sure that I had somethingI wanted to eat on the table so that I wouldn't feel miserable.

Why wouldI not do the same for her now that I can mother her myself?

After hurriedly weaving through the traffic and my errands, I appeared in Mommy's house with Hong Kong style wanton noodles,kuapao and her favorite buchi for dessert. She looked tired and weak whenI arrived but was in good spirits by the time I was leaving. I don'tthink it was just the food that made her feel better, I think it was that shehad me to share the meal with that really made her day.

Over lunch, Mommy told me about Tita Boo, a close familyfriend and former colleague of my late father who had been diagnosed with stage4 cancer. She migrated to Australia when she married herAustralian husband.

She would have spent only a third of the treatment if she stayed in Australia but without children of her own to care for her, she decided to have her treatment in Manila. Her husband had Alzheimer's and she wanted to make sure that there would be someone looking after him while she was doing her chemo.

I went to see Tita Boo.

I brought with me a Faith Tassel, something I fashioned myself out of an inspiration I had from the miracle of the Hemorrhagic woman who had been bleeding for 12 years.

In the card, I wrote:

I love this miracle because when you read the story in Luke 8:43-48. you will discover that Jesus was intent in doing something else when the woman interrupted Him with her act of faith --- a faith so powerful that the Lord stopped, turned towards her and made her whole.

It is my hope that by holding on to this tassel as you pray during difficult times, you may be reminded of that story and what faith can do to make miracles happen.

After reading the card, she told me that it was just what she needed and asked me to hug her. We hugged and shed tears together for a while and then reverted to stories of better days.

I had planned on staying for a few minutes but ended up wasting a few hours with her. Before leaving, I asked to pray over her and promised to come back.

She asked me to hug her again.

Sometimes, we get absorbed in our own agenda thinking that our "things to do" is top priority and miss out on the most important things.

It felt good to be interrupted. There is something about giving your "most precious time" to those who needed someone to waste time with that gives back more to you in terms of joy and happy feelings.

Lord, thank you for reminding me that there are things more important than my own agenda. Give me the grace to always welcome them with joy. Grant me the sensitivity so that I will not miss out on the opportunity to be Your face to those who need to be loved. Through Mary our Mother, I pray. Amen.

"The most important thing in life

is to learn how to give out love,

and to let it come in."

- Morrie Schwartz

Something Significant at 50 (#10): Why?

2011-12-08T08:50:00.001+08:00

That's the question that has be bugging me since the other night.

After fetching my daughter, Mara from the MRT station, she asked to stop by Lolo. He was the old man I blogged about 10 issues ago, the story that triggered my Something Significant series.

Mara wanted to give him her take home pack from her class at culinary school so that he would have something to eat during the night.

We had been wondering why Lolo's kariton was nowhere in sight. We thought it was a temporary thing, but it's been weeks already. So when Mara handed the packed dinner and Lolo said thank you, she asked him: "Nasaan po ang kariton niyo (where is your cart)?" Lolo's reply dampened our hearts: "Ninakaw po (It was stolen)."

Why would anyone want to steal from a poor man who had nothing but a kariton to depend on for his livelihood? This kariton was where he slept. It was where he kept his worldly belongings: a blanket, the umbrella that protected him from the rain, and the few clothes he had.

Why?

God's today

2011-11-19T11:39:00.000+08:00

I don't know where I got this and I don't know who said it,

but it is too good. It deserves to be enshrined here.

GOD'S TODAY

Don't let yourself be torn between yesterday and tomorrow.

Live always and only God's today.

Accept surprises that upset your plans, shatter your dreams,

give a completely different turn to your day

and - who knows, to your life.

It is not chance,

Leave the Father free Himself to weave

The pattern of your days.

Something Significant at 50 (#9): Psalm day

2011-10-26T10:18:00.000+08:00

At my women's group meeting last night, I encouraged my girls to create their own psalm as a way of expressing gratitude and praise to the Lord. I used a prepared format I found in nailscars.com:

Create Your Own Psalm

I will praise You, O God, for You are_______and __________ and _______________

___________ is the Lord and worthy ofPraise! The Lord my God has ________________________________________

He has shown his love to me by________________________________ and by____________________________________

His works declare that he is_______________I will praise the Lord because to me,

________________________________________

He is____________ and _________ and ________and __________ and________ and _______!

I gave them a few minutes to think about God and His goodness and then we shared our psalms with each other.

The activity gave us time to remember God's love.

It's good to remember because it is easy to forget when we are experiencing difficulties at work, in our homes or in our relationships.

Despite using the same format, the psalms we created were very personal. They were testaments of God's faithfulness in our individual lives --- unique to our own experiences.

Here is my psalm:

I will praise you, O God, for you are my strength,

my courage, my all.
Great is the Lord and worthy of praise!

The Lord my God has given me more than I deserve,
His faithfulness is boundless.

He has shown His love to me by pursuing me relentlessly
despite my sinfulness and by giving me the grace to persevere
when things are difficult and seemingly impossible.

His works declare that He is the only God!
I will praise the Lord because to me, he is awesome and mighty!

He is good and kind and loving and merciful and patient and
always there for me.

Something Significant at 50 (#8): After every obedience

2011-10-25T05:26:00.000+08:00

Once upon a facebook conversation:

Aly Placino
‎"a miracle happens after every obedience" - fr. dave
April 9 at 9:02am · · ·

Ginger San Jose Hilario, Marisol A. Fernandez, Shymaa Elwishy and14 others like this.

Rene Alimbuyuguen That is very true! But.. Miracles do happen even if we dont do anything.
April 9 at 9:06am · · 1 person

Aly Placino the blind man needed to GO and WASH at Siloam before he could see; the man who sat by the pool at Bethesda had to RISE, TAKE UP HIS MAT before he could walk and didn't the royal official have to GO and BELIEVE first before his son could be healed?
April 9 at 1:43pm ·

Rene Alimbuyuguen You're right, obedience to God will bear fruit. In Mat. 8: 25-27, we see Jesus rebuke His disciples of " little faith" and did a miracle.
April 9 at 2:31pm ·

Aly Placino of course!
April 9 at 2:33pm ·

Aly Placino the Lord meets us at the level of our faith and gives us what we need to have more faith.
April 9 at 2:50pm · · 2 people

Cristina Rivera-bradshaw i will try that!!! The Lord just spoke to me and gave me a very difficult task. haven't done it yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
April 10 at 10:30pm ·

Aly Placino take a step in faith sister.
April 10 at 11:20pm · · 1 person

Ginger San Jose Hilario love it!
April 11 at 7:53pm ·

Something Significant at 50 (#7): Giving up Happiness

2011-10-24T15:15:00.000+08:00

It has been said that happiness is a decision we make for ourselves.

True, it may seem to be as easy as making a decision for ourselves, but we cannot go about our lives thinking that happiness is about finding self solely. It is also about losing it for others, for the people we love.

It is not only about TAKING for ourselves, but the willingness to GIVE UP.

Must you continue to do the things you want to do even when you know it will hurt someone? Should you keep believing something else when a person claims to speak the truth?

What is the value of personal fulfillment or being steadfast in one's point of view? What is the value of choosing for self at the expense of others?

True happiness is not defined solely by the things that make us happy but seeing to it that others around us are happy too.

This is the irony of happiness: the more one gives up, the more one receives.

Happiness shared is happiness multiplied.

Loving Father, grant me the generosity of loving myself less

so that I can give up more for those dear to me. Amen.

Something Significant at 50 (#6): Time difference

2011-10-12T18:49:00.000+08:00

We perceive time differently depending on where we are coming from. Literally, and I mean geographically, time can mean different things to different people.

While we use afternoon, evening and night in a general way, my Indian friends would divide "pm" in this manner:

afternoon (12:00-3:59 pm)

evening (4:00-5:59pm)

late evening (6:00-7:59pm)

night (8:00-11:59 pm)

Not knowing this piece of information would determine whether you could make it on a date with them.

It also matters, who you are in the waiting game. Are you the "waiter" or the "waitee?" --- the one who waits, or the object of anticipation? The suitor who is in pursuit grows anxious by the day while his lady love tarries. The student looks at his achievements and thinks, "I thought it would never end," while his parents look at the same thing and say, "Where did time go?"

Time narrows and stretches. To those who wait, it is too slow, yet it moves swiftly when we do not want the moment to pass us by. The husband whose OFW wife is far away and the mother waiting to give birth to a child wants to run to the moment of arrival, while one who is about to lose a loved one tightens his hold on time's hand, dreading the tick of the final second.

Time is both reward and punishment. In high school, for instance, we worked hard to top the newspaper drive and win a free day. At the other end of the spectrum, kids get "time out" for misbehavior while adults "serve time" for crime.

Someone once said, "All that really belongs to us is time..." We all have but 24 hours, no one has more or less of it. Faced with a deadline, we borrow, play for, bide for time. Yet with time in our hands we squander it and let it slip away.

Though the hours may be long or short, the real difference is in how we spend our waiting. We must not wait and do nothing for to do so is to waste an opportunity. We wait in vain when we sulk or grieve or remain unable to move beyond our sorry past. We must learn while we wait and look forward to a time filled with possibilities because if we do not, there is no purpose in waiting.

Father, wait with me and teach me about myself.

Amen.

Something significant at 50 (#5): Having faith

2011-10-05T19:37:00.000+08:00

I look forward to driving my high school kids to school on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

I love the power struggle over the radio station --- forcing the music of my time on them and sometimes giving in to their choice of station so I can comment on the lyrics of their songs and the banter of their DJs. I love the short stories about the past day --- the rocket that didn't take off as expected, the prospect of winning the softball game, and the teacher whose style was annoying! Sometimes, I even love the quiet of driving two sleeping teenagers to school. It gives me space to think.

Last Tuesday began as a beautiful sunny day. But by the time I was to drop my son off at his school, heavy dark clouds began to give off its initial droplets (my son calls it bi-polar weather). In no time, it was pouring. As we neared my daughter's school, she was beginning to get anxious because our car didn't have a sticker to get in the campus and that meant she would have to make a dash for the gate from the car under the heavy rain.

I told her that if we prayed now, the moment we got to her gate the rain would stop. As I spoke those words, I was feeling an inner fear and said to myself, "What if it doesn't?" But I proceeded to pray and ask the Lord for a miracle for my daughter. I prayed for a little reprieve from the rain so that she could get to her classroom dry. As my mouth uttered the prayer: "Build up her faith, Lord," I was also praying in my mind: "Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief."

As my prayer ended, the rain stopped with no transition --- as fast as it started. Just like that. I asked for a miracle and I got one. My daughter said: "Mama, the rain stopped!" And I said, "I told you so," with confidence (as if I was really sure).

When we dare to ask in faith, even with half of it, the Lord responds with EVERYTHING He has. He looks at our LITTLE FAITH and ALL OUR DARING and that is enough for Him.

Thank you, Lord for always meeting me half-way and giving me reason to have MORE FAITH in You with each new day. Amen.

Something Significant at 50 (#4): Held captive

2011-08-13T08:40:00.031+08:00

Sandro is my niece Trina's 3 month old baby boy and first grandson of my sister-in-law Telly. He is our indicator that the weekend is near because he comes to our house to hang out on Thursdays and Fridays while his mommy is at work.

It is amazing how this little guy has so much power over us. He is the stuff that can melt the blues away. The smell of him enthralls us, he holds us captive with his smile. When he cries, we want to pacify him. He is like the sun, the center of the universe. When he's here, no one is in a hurry. He disrupts our world and that's just fine.

In a few years, but not too soon, he will lose his hold over us. He will gain independence, become mischievous and climb where he's not supposed to. He will have a mind of his own and test our limits. He may go when we say stop, push when we say pull and sooner or later, he will master the art of saying no. He might still charm us with his antics but he will never be as adorable as he is now.

Surely, his parents (and his grandparents) will remain steadfast. He will be forgiven for many things and will get away with some more. He will continue to captivate them with his smile even when he will smell sun-kissed and sour because that's the way it goes with parents (and grandparents).

I am certain that it's the same with God. He probably spent many hours in eternity watching me sleep; delighting at my smile; proud of my every achievement as I learned to be independent. And when free will set in, he must have cringed with my every wrong decision. I may have made him anxious when I got into trouble and made him very sad when I slipped and fell. I must have made my God very tired trying to get me to do the right thing, towing me in like a runaway mule but he persists because He is my Father.

Father in heaven, I thank you for your steadfast love for me. I thank you that despite my stubbornness you never get drained of your energies, your mercy never runs out for a repentant heart. It will probably take another 50 years to unlearn my adult ways and become childlike in my faith, but take my hand just the same and be patient with me. Help me to trust in you the way an infant trusts his mother, knowing that your love is greater than any mother's love.

“Let the children come to me, and do not prevent them; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

- Matthew 19:14

Something Significant at 50 (#3): Wounded

2011-08-10T08:12:00.005+08:00

There are 3 scars on my face.

1.) Below my lower lip - from sutures at the age of 6. I was playing while eating and hit the edge of a chair.

2.) Below my left eyebrow - an accident at the age of 15 when I collided with a high school classmate. I was running while looking towards the opposite direction.

3.) Above my left eyebrow - at the age of 50 while I was carefully ascending a 3-step ladder. I didn't notice that the overhead cabinet had swung back after I had opened it.

We are never careful enough. Wounds happen and it doesn't matter how old you are. But unlike soldiers who look to their scars as badges of heroism, our scars serve to remind us of our vulnerability.

There are invisible wounds too. We leave gaping wounds on others when we focus on ourselves and become unfaithful or demand too much. We leave a void in the hearts of those we love when we die. We hurt with the things that we say and in keeping silent, when thanks could have affirmed or when sorry could have pacified, we leave others wounded too.

Sometimes the pain from these hurts linger and wrench even more than the physical ones that make us bleed. So it is good that there are no signs left of them to touch and behold. Scars only remind us of our pain and in seeing them constantly we could make monuments of them that keep us stuck and unable to move on, unable to grow. In the end, what matters most is what we do despite the hurt and the pain.

Whether the wound leaves a scar or not, time is the ultimate healer. It diminishes pain, it allows us to forgive. It aids us with forgetting until what is left is but a thought or the memory of an event.

My two older scars are hardly visible now. The decades have smoothened them out. With the new one, it encourages me to think that time will heal it as well. If I live to be a hundred, the scar will blend in with the wrinkles and by that time, they will be referred to as marks of character.

Father in heaven, help me to be constantly aware of the things I say and do that I may not injure the people that you bring to me. When I am hurt, be my healer. Allow me to realize that you are always there for me, never leaving me alone. Journey with me in my pain and difficulty and with your power turn each ugly memory into something to learn from, something beautiful and sweet.

"In his time, in his time.

He makes all things beautiful

In his time.

Lord please show me everyday,

As you're teaching me your way.

That you do just what you say

In your time"

- Diana Ball, In His Time

Something Significant at 50 (#2): Mother-Daughter Bonding

2011-08-03T15:12:00.011+08:00

We were never a movie family. In my younger days, the only movies we watched were the ones where we had premier tickets (the ones my parents were forced to buy from their friends who were fund raising). We never really watched movies to pass the time. Much of our leisure activities were hinged on Daddy's availability and since he was in the operating room a lot, putting people to sleep, the most that we could do was eat out.

Mom was not adventurous enough to take us out on her own. So if Daddy couldn't make it, we didn't do it. Many years later, when Daddy had the time and was at home more often, the reason for not watching movies changed: it was too difficult to bring Daddy's wheelchair.

After Daddy died, I was at a loss for things to do with Mommy. Her life revolved around Daddy so much that it was difficult to fill the void. Although she would have loved to shop, she didn't enjoy walking long distances anymore.

All it took to convince her to try the movies again after decades (no exaggeration) was a John Lloyd and Sarah Geronimo film and that got our movie dates going. Today, it was "Ang Babae sa Septic Tank" with Eugene Domingo. Needless to say, it was a good movie, worthy of the awards it raked in. It was serious and hilarious at the same time. Mommy and I (and Inday) enjoyed reviewing the sceptic tank scene over lunch, believe it or not!

Mommy is 80 years old. She is lucky to be still moving about with a little help today. She is still doing the alteration sewing for her grandchildren and still loves moving the furniture in her house around (with help from Inday, of course).

Lord, thank you for the movie with Mommy today, for the kuwentuhan (stories) over lunch. I thank you for her hand on my arm as we took the escalator four flights up. Most of all, I thank you for the gift of time. May I always choose to spend it wisely knowing that time passes quickly and cannot be turned back. Keep Mommy healthy and strong, Lord. She needs to waste more time with me :).

"Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you."- Deuteronomy 5:16 (NIV)

Something Significant at 50 (#1): For Lolo

2011-07-30T06:52:00.011+08:00

I celebrated my 50th birthday last January 13, and it's been more than 7 months. It got me thinking, how did I make my Jubilee Year special?

Years from now, I will forget. So I decided that I will come up with 50 things about my 50th year in my blog. It will not be in any special order, just that I promise to write about them so that someday I may remember.

Here's number one.

My daughter Mara is bothered that there is an old man who stations himself at the corner near our church. According to her, he's been there for a while. One time, she pointed him out to me. It was drizzling and I said, "Kawawa naman" (what a pity).

I pass his corner often and when I see him, I think, "Kawawa naman." Each time, I make many mental notes that I do not end up doing. I think of giving him something to eat, some old clothes, but it's either I am late for an appointment or it is not safe to stop anymore because it's too late in the night.

Yesterday, on the way home from mass, I saw him rummaging through the scant possessions in his kariton. Again, in my mind, I said "Kawawa naman."

After mass this morning, I bought a bag of pan de sal and stopped by his kariton to hand it over to him. He was very grateful. He smiled from ear to ear and waved as I drove away. I was not prepared to shed tears but I did.

I cried not out of pity for him but out of pity for myself. It did not take a lot from me to make him happy the way I did today. I felt guilty for not doing anything before, for not allowing myself to be inconvenienced by stopping to do a good deed the very first time I saw him. I felt sorry for my indifference, for simply not caring.

Lord, I thank you that today is never too late to start doing something good for my neighbor. Thank you for your patience with me. If there is one thing I am so sure about you, it's that you are a patient God.

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me." - Matthew 25: 35-36

For no other reason

2011-06-12T07:15:00.004+08:00

Why do I

have to do

the things I do?

Let it always be

for no

other reason

but for the love

of You

my Lord!

Do not be afraid

2011-04-24T14:56:00.002+08:00

May the hope and joy of Easter be yours!

With me

2011-04-20T22:47:00.005+08:00

"He who has dipped his hand into the dish WITH ME is the one who will betray me." - Mt. 26:24

WITH, prep. [G.] - on the side of, noting friendship or favor; in the company of; among.

Jesus knew that Judas would betray him as he knows when we make our choices to turn away from him.

Lord, being with You is no guarantee that I will always be doing things in line with Your will. Help me to be ever wary of my actions, thoughts and intentions. Help me to test all that I do before I move, lest I betray you too as Judas did. Grant that my love for you would give me the yearning to not only be near you but to be united WITH YOU in spirit. Amen

And it was night

2011-04-19T16:43:00.007+08:00

"So he took the morsel and left at once. And it was night."

- John 13:30

Despite Jesus' last appeal to reconsider his plan, Judas leaves.

And it was night.

It was night for Judas who turned away from Jesus. It will be night for Peter who will do the same later. It was night for the Lord as well because the friends he personally chose, trusted and loved hurt him.

Lord, minister to us in our night and be our light. Amen.

Gratitude

2011-04-15T22:21:00.005+08:00

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it

is like wrapping a present

and not giving it.”

- William Arthur Ward

Chocolates

2011-04-15T15:47:00.006+08:00

I've been keeping away from chocolates.

It's difficult. It takes a lot of work.

I was at the supermarket today and came home with these in my cart:

1.) honey mustard pretzel pieces.

2.) trolli strawberry puffs.

3.) pizza flavored potato chips.

4.) caramel panna cotta dessert cups.

I guess that was the unconscious effort to find a suitable replacement.

Sadly, they don't fill the need. There's no substitute for the real thing.

Chocolates are chocolates are chocolates.

Custom made

2011-04-13T22:54:00.006+08:00

"God will look to every soul like its first love because He is its first love. Your place in heaven will seem to be made for you and you alone, because you were made for it --- made for it stitch by stitch as a glove is made for a hand" - C. S. Lewis

A place custom made for me!

What extravagant love!

Love is also an action

2011-04-07T05:09:00.005+08:00

Was cleaning up my inbox and came across this article by Tom Holladay from Rick Warren's Daily Hope. Just wanted to share this with those who have ran out of wine.

Hope for Real Relationships Comes When You Trust God

by Tom Holladay

“Trust God all the time. Tell him all your problems, because God is our protection.”Psalm 62:8 (NCV)

Tell him you are angry or disappointed, or that you feel nothing. In those times when you feel nothing, when you feel like you’ve lost the love, go to God and tell him that -- then trust him. Hebrews 10:23 teaches us, “We can trust God to do what he promised” (NCV). And he promises to pour his love into our hearts.What do you do with the feelings that come from disappointment in a relationship? You can’t stuff them away; they are just going to pop out somewhere else. You need to trust God and tell him all your problems because he is your protection.

Love is a feeling, but it is also an action. And when you lose the feeling to love someone, move forward with the action of loving them and that will help you reclaim your feelings of love. Is this hypocritical? No, it’s being human. We all lose the feeling to love at sometime. It usually happens when we decide to live with a problem instead of talking it out or openly facing it.

Start by telling God your feelings about the problem. From there, he can begin to give you the strength to talk to your loved one about it. As you do this, God will begin to restore your feeling of love for that person. He does what Lamentations 5:21 says, “Turn us around and bring us back to you again! That is our only hope! Give us back the joys we used to have!” (LB).

That is my prayer for you. Whether you are a husband or a wife who needs to let go of a disappointment or misunderstanding -- or if you need to accept the differences you have with a close friend -- I pray that God will begin to bring back your joy. But it’s a process, and it begins when you decide to trust God and tell him your feelings.

On Kowloon siopao and getting sick

2011-04-04T14:06:00.011+08:00

A priest friend of mine says that getting sick is God's way of reminding us to take a break. He has a way of putting everything in perspective. But mothers, and wives for that matter, never get to take breaks. We can slow down a little, but that's about it. No breaks.

After seeing to it that everything that needed me was done with this morning, I decided to crawl back into bed and get some rest before catching the noontime mass. I even set the mood --- fluffed out the pillows, put on some music and R-I-N-G! A phone call from my mother with a list of things for me to do for her (I forgot that I was a daughter too). While I was in the middle of all that, the driver needed some money for car registration, and then Aling Tibay suddenly makes an appearance with the image of the Blessed Virgin for our block rosary. How could I be on break for that?

My daughter, Selene agreed to go to mass with me seeing perhaps that I looked too sick to be hearing mass alone. As prize for coming with me I promised we would get siomai, her favorite! I had set my mind on getting siopao from Kowloon, something I would ask my daddy to get me when I was sick back then when I was small. Unconciously, I was resorting to a childhood ritual to get better.

It's amazing how one evolves from getting siopao from your father when you are sick to getting it yourself EVEN IF you're sick. Times change. And so did the siopao. The asado pao still has it's reddish color and probably still the same taste but the dough is a different consistency. It's crumbly and just different from what I remember.

Maybe it's the taste buds. Maybe the difference is that I had to get it myself.

Maybe the difference is that it didn't come from Daddy.

No expectations

2011-03-30T18:38:00.011+08:00

I had given up on you.

I had grown tired of expecting anything

Because when I demanded or expected,

You let me down.

I guess that's the best thing I ever did --

Give up on expecting anything.

For when I was not looking out for you,

You came.

You needed a blank canvas

to paint who you are.

Free from boundaries, free from rules.

Just free be you and so you bloomed!

Progression to love

2011-03-23T09:04:00.022+08:00

(A reflection on John 4:1-30)

It is not the first time that I had met the woman at the well.

I wondered why she had ventured there in the searing noontime heat once before. I strained my ears to listen in on her conversation with the stranger who had asked her for a drink and wondered why she was in such hurry that she left her water jar just like that.

Each time, I gain a new perspective and I end up appreciating the "stranger" even more. This time it was the progression in the conversation that made my heart burn. There was something to be found in the nouns the woman used to refer to Jesus as she conversed with him.

Jesus said to her, "Give me a drink."

"How can you, a Jew, ask me, a Samaritan woman, for a drink?"

She was so used to being ignored, being whispered about and never talked to. How could anyone even want a drink from her, a Samaritan woman --- one thought to be unclean?

"If you knew the gift of God and who is saying to you, 'Give me a drink,' you would have asked him and he would have given you living water."

"Sir, you do not even have a bucket and the cistern is deep; where then can you get this living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us this cistern and drank from it himself with his children and his flocks?"

Why does this man persist? Why does he speak this way? He must be a learned man, she must have thought. She decides that he deserves some respect but she remains cynical.

Jesus answered and said to her, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again; but whoever drinks the water I shall give will never thirst; the water I shall give will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

"Sir, give me this water, so that I may not be thirsty or have to keep coming here to draw water."

She must have had no idea of what he was talking about but the repartee, the sparring with words drew her in. She was hooked.

Jesus said to her, "Go call your husband and come back."

"I do not have a husband."

At this point the woman is intrigued that the man she refers to as Sir now seems to be more interested in her than the water she had. So she let her guard down and answers truthfully.

Jesus answered her, "You are right in saying, 'I do not have a husband.' For you have had five husbands, and the one you have now is not your husband. What you have said is true."

"Sir, I can see that you are a prophet. Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain; but you people say that the place to worship is in Jerusalem."

It must have startled her to hear her life laid out in front of her. Who would know her secrets? Was he divinely inspired? But why would this prophet be interested in her, whose practices he did not share?

Jesus said to her, "Believe me, woman, the hour is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. You people worship what you do not understand; we worship what we understand, because salvation is from the Jews. But the hour is coming, and is now here, when true worshipers will worship the Father in Spirit and truth; and indeed the Father seeks such people to worship him. God is Spirit, and those who worship him must worship in Spirit and truth."

"I know that the Messiah is coming, the one called the Anointed; when he comes, he will tell us everything."

Jesus did not exclude her! For the first time in her life she does not feel condemned, shunned. She did not have to be anyone but herself to be accepted. She is loved for what she was.

Jesus said to her, "I am he, the one who is speaking with you."

The woman left her water jar and went into the town and said to the people, "Come see a man who told me everything I have done. Could he possibly be the Messiah?"

When Jesus confirms that what she puts together in her mind as true --- that indeed he is the Messiah, her joy could not be contained! She had to share it with others and in her rush she forgets her water jar --- what she had gone to the well for at the first place. She announces the good news and ...

They went out of the town and came to him.

Like the woman at the well, Jesus transforms before us from stranger to Messiah, depending on our disposition when we meet him. He waits patiently to seek for a drink, that he may fill our thirst. Such irony! Such love! And it is when we experience being loved that we respond in love to become sharers of the the good news.

Corrinne May must have been inspired to write Love Song for #1 out of the same urging. Her refrain speaks of being insignificant, yet singled out --- worthy of being loved by the number one lover of all:

Why do you hide among the nameless and forgotten
Why do you walk along these long forsaken roads
Calling to me in the hungry and the homeless
Calling me to water your thirst

So I’ll give you my heart and my song
In a world where so much is right but so much is wrong
Your love is my beginning and I know it won’t be too long
Till I see you
I hear you
I love you

With His love as our beginning, how can we not respond with love?

Why I Lost My Voice

2011-03-21T14:45:00.011+08:00

"We are a species that needs and wants to understand who we are. Sheep lice do not seem to share this longing, which is one reason they write so very little. But we do. We have so much we want to say and figure out." - Anne Lamott

Alas! The reason why I haven't been writing --- I've been too busy LISTENING to one who had figured it out! Been too content in basking in the words of someone else and just RECEIVING that I lost all yearning to write.

Is that bad? I don't think so. It was very good for my soul.

But it's been more than a year. I've got to recover my voice. Who knows? Someone might be listening.

The Lord wept

2010-11-18T05:51:00.003+08:00

"As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it and said, if you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace but now it is hidden from your eyes. The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side. They will dash you to the ground, you and the children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you did not recognize the time of God’s coming to you."

- Luke 19:41-44

The Lord wept out of frustration for the city that didn't see the opportunity that had come its way.

How many times does He weep for the opportunities I squander?

LOVE

2010-06-22T18:55:00.005+08:00

The hardest thing about loving is having to bear and endure. It constitutes too much dying to self. It can drive one crazy.

But then, just when you think you can take no more, there comes Grace.

Grace, be my friend. Stand by me.

I Am A Kept Woman

2010-06-19T06:48:00.004+08:00

(Got this via email from Rose Nocum. Am keeping it here to remind me when I need it.)

I am a kept woman.

You see, there were a few times when I thought I would lose my mind,

But GOD kept me sane. (Isa. 26:3)

There were times when I thought I could go no longer,

But the LORD kept me moving.. (Gen 28:15)

At times, I've wanted to lash out at those whom I felt had done me wrong,

But the LORD kept my mouth shut.. (Psa.. 13)

Sometimes, I think the money just isn't enough,

But GOD has helped me to keep the lights on, the water on, the car paid, the house paid, etc.., (Matt. 6:25 -34)

When I thought I would fall, HE kept me up.

When I thought I was weak, HE kept me strong! (I Pet.. 5:7, Matt. 11:28-30)

I could go on and on and on, but I'm sure you hear me!

I'm blessed to be kept

I'm Kept by the Love and Grace of God

Soul & Risk

2010-06-16T06:00:00.003+08:00

i love this!

SOUL AND RISK

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another person is to risk involvement.
To expose your feelings is to risk being your true self.
To place your dreams and ideas before the crowd is to risk their rejection.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing, does nothing.
This person can avoid suffering and sorrow, but cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, or really live.
He is chained by his certitude. He is a slave. He has forfeited freedom.
A person who risks is free.

From A Canopy of Stars: Some Reflections for the Journey by Fr Christopher Gleeson SJ [David Lovell Publishing 2003]

For She Loved Much

2010-06-14T05:55:00.008+08:00

⁴⁴Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. ⁴⁵You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. ⁴⁶You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet.⁴⁷Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little." - Luke 7:44-47 (NIV)
~o~
The love of the woman with the alabaster jar was the cause of her pardon.
At the end of my days, I pray that the Lord may say that of me too.

I Know A Secret II

2010-06-13T04:00:00.003+08:00

The last time I wrote about secrets was several years ago. We played the game again between my single women and some seniors a few years back but somehow this remained in my draft box and never got out. The cross grouping was a good was time for us to learn a little more about each other. The dinner was sumptuous, the conversation light and the secrets--- revealing!

Hear are some of the secrets I heard that night with some secrets of my own related to the same subject in italics:

"Wala akong best friend."

Meron akong best friend. Arlene is her name. The world will be gloomy without her.

"I don't use perfume."

I prefer cologne. No flowery scents.

"When I was young, I thought that I was a good singer."

I will belt it out with friends sing-a-long style but will never sing with a mike.

"I hated my surname when I was studying."

My surname back then was Sulit. It didn't have the same "commercial success" it has now: Sulit na Sulit, Sulit Sarap, etc. In my time my classmates only related that to having to take a test - "pagsusulit."

"I was a stage actor, cultural dancer and pin boy (bowling pin setter)."

When I was in the first grade, I was in a PETA play at the Rajah Sulayman Theater in Fort Santiago. I played a swaying tree being battered by the wind. Move over, John Lloyd, that was the very first Orion.

I took up Social Dance and Folk Dance for PE in UP because there was nothing else to choose from every time it was my turn to enroll.

Let's not discuss bowling.

"I had piano lessons but never learned."

I performed in a piano recital when I was in 7th Grade and forgot the next note in the middle of the piece. I looked up the ceiling for a while then started again. Embarrassing.

Do you love me?

2010-04-28T19:04:00.023+08:00

"Peter was distressed that he had said to him

a third time,

"Do you love me?

and he said to him,

"Lord, you know everything;

you know that I love you."

- John 21:17

In the movie Fiddler on the Roof, Teyve asks Golde, his wife of 25 years, “Do you love me?” 6 times. Imagine Golde's distress!

We can glean from their conversation that Golde never bothered to say the words. She probably thought that her actions were more than enough declaration of love. But after 25 years, why was it important for Teyve to hear them?

Teyve and Golde did not choose each other. Theirs was an arranged marriage. They were probably thrown into the busyness of being married which didn’t give them the pause to ask the question: "Do I love him/her?" Through their 25 years, the sacrifice and giving of selves were the actions that spoke louder than words.

Peter and Jesus, on the other hand, chose each other. Jesus called and Peter followed. Expectations were higher. It must have pained Jesus to have to ask Peter the question “Do you love me?” Yet Jesus wanted Peter to know that his love mattered to him. He wanted to say that he was willing to put Peter's betrayal behind him but his mere profession of love was no longer enough, nor were his empty promises and enthusiasm. Peter needed to match his words with actions thus, the imperatives: feed my lambs, tend my sheep, feed my sheep.

Many times we say one thing but we do otherwise. Sometimes, we overestimate ourselves. We think we are capable of loving and following to the end, but when we let fear and our circumstances take the better of us, we fail just as Peter did.

Lord, you ask the same question again and again. You ask me the question even when I fail you. You know that I love you. When I say I love you, may you also hear the words "Lord, I rely on you to prove my words in deeds." Help me to realize that I will never be able to do things without you and that what my mind may set out to do is nothing without the grace and strength you provide. Build my character, I pray, that someday what I say I can do, I will indeed do for you.

IrRational

2010-04-16T08:55:00.015+08:00

"... He does not ration his gift of the spirit." - John 3:34

ration - to distribute equitably; to use sparingly.

To say that Jesus did not ration his gift of the spirit is an understatement. When the wedding party needed wine, he produced more than a hundred gallons; When he fed the 5,000, there were 12 baskets of leftovers; the woman amidst the many who wanted to encounter Jesus reached for him and got healed instantly by merely touching his garment. Jesus simply exceeded expectations.

Blessing may not have even been on top of the list of his things to do when these miracles happened. Remember at Cana, he didn't think it was the right time. The night before he fed the multitudes, he wanted to slip away from the crowd to pray. And wasn't he on his way to heal Jairus' daughter when the hemmorhagic woman interrupted by touching his garment?

Jesus couldn't help it. His compassion got in the way. He was moved by his mother's concern for the married couple. He couldn't bear to see the people around him to go without anything to eat. He felt for the woman who had been bleeding for twelve years.

Lord, I am nothing. You could have passed me by yet you stop and wait for me as if there's no one but me to waste your time on. You go out of your way for me all the time. You forgive me again and again.

Thank you, Lord for your irrational love for me.

irrational - (1) not rational;

not governed by or according to reason;

(2) having a quantity other than that required by meter.

To Hear Your Wisdom

2010-04-13T09:58:00.003+08:00

"Happy (are those)… who continually stand before you and hear your wisdom! Blessed be the LORD your God, who has delighted in you and set you on the throne of Israel! "

– 1 Kings 10:8-9

Were not our hearts burning?

2010-04-07T18:58:00.008+08:00

"Were not our hearts burning within us while he spoke to us on the way and opened the scriptures to us?"

- Luke 24:32

Arlene is a best friend from 6th grade to forever. Melissa and I are sisters in many aspects of the word. My heart has been joined with theirs by a common "burning" at the Holy Land. But of course it was easy for the three of us to meet the Lord there because we set out to meet him. Our hearts were easy to set ablaze.

In the realm of the ordinary, we go about our lives focused on other things. We are engrossed with ourselves and distracted by our concerns. We are preoccupied trying to earn a living or making sense of our difficulties that we are prevented from recognizing Jesus along the way. Our eyes are strained in search of the size and shape that we perceive God to be that we pass him by completely.

So we are "stooped down and downcast," never experiencing the Lord, yet the truth is he walks along with us. In our difficulties he sends people to lighten the burden, he sets a rainbow on our sky to brighten our day. When we do not understand, he gives us someone to sit quietly with or a song whose lyrics resonate with our heart. He "stays with us" even when we do not feel, even when we do not see, staying only until we recognize him. Only until we recognize him. What a patient God!

Dear Lord, stay with me when I am slow to believe in you. Captivate my heart with your love and meet me where I am --- in my doubting, in my questioning. Set me ablaze with love for you that I may be the spark for others too.

"Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief." (Mark 9:24)

Leave her alone

2010-03-30T05:59:00.008+08:00

You didn't have to be anointed with the expensive oil for You are the anointed of God. It wouldn't have added anything to You. Indeed, the oil could have been put to better use to feed the hungry with the money it could fetch. Yet, You let the woman do what she wanted to do, not for Your sake but because it was good FOR HER to do it.

Lord, You relate with us according to where we are. You allow us to honor You in the way we know best, not with what we have but with what we leave for ourselves. You never judge our ways or belittle our efforts. Our best act is what You see as THE BEST. We are not measured against what others can afford to do, but on our abilities. No rules applied, just the best expression of our love for You. YOU HONOR ME FOR HONORING YOU.

Thank you Lord for my witness of others who unselfishly offer themselves to you. There are many. And even when their best gift is their illness, you see their offering of pain and discomfort as GOLD. May the fragrance of their actions inspire me each day to do the same.

These are my expensive jars of oil, Lord: my vocation, my service, my talent and all that I hold dear. Accept them as my way of showing how much I love You. May I offer it freely to You, without grudging, without hesitation. Let not the value of these matter to me but the sweet aroma it will emit once it is poured on Your feet and wiped away with my hair. Let me focus on the offering rather than the sacrifice; what I will gain, rather than what I am giving up. And in the end, let my reward be nothing but the joy of having honored You.

Where Your Treasure Is

2009-11-03T15:06:00.002+08:00

I know it's been more than a month and I know that a lot has been said about this but the insights brought about by Typhoon Ondoy are much to precious for me not to talk about at all. It is something we all have stories about. Here are some of my favorites:

Threatened with the fast rising waters inside her house, my friend rushes to prepare a small knapsack of things to bring along to higher ground. She packs the little jewelry that she had, underwear and opens the closet and agonizes about what to choose from among her many clothes. In the midst of ankle deep water she realizes that she didn't need all those clothes after all.

Another friend sifts through the many things that had been damaged by the flood waters and finds a box of inspirational books with pages soggy and clumped together and thinks: "if I had only passed it on for someone else to read, then that someone would have had been inspired or would have had additional knowledge --- no flood could have ravaged inspiration and learning."

What are our treasures?

What do we hoard?

When we leave, can we bring our treasures with us?

My son, Gian, who almost drowned during the flood replied with just two words when we asked him what he learned from the experience: "Carpe diem." Seize the day. Make the most of the day because at the snap of the finger everything can be gone and today could be your last.

What did you spend your money on?

How did you spend your hours?

What is your treasure?

There your heart is also.

CORY!

2009-08-01T21:30:00.005+08:00

R.I.P.
Corazon Cojuangco Aquino
(1933-2009)

By your life you showed that God's grace is sufficient
for those who yield to His bidding.

Our nation celebrates your life
as we grieve your death.

Have You Seen Him Whom My Heart Loves?

2009-07-22T13:22:00.005+08:00